There are no perfect parents. We all make mistakes, and while some of us have learned from our mistakes others continue without a thought or care to the generational damage they are inflicting on their children. Mother is defined as a woman who has raised a child, given birth to a child, and/or supplied the egg, which in union with a sperm grew into a child. The Bible dictionary defined mother as a female parents, a woman in authority. Mothering, however, is the nurturing of an infant or small child by its mother. But some parents have used their status as adults and parents to release them of accountability to do what is right and to lead by example. Still, like it or not, with authority comes responsibility.

The idiom, Do what I say, not as I do should not be an excuse to be hypocritical and reckless. Authority does not mean laying down rules without regard to personal responsibility. I have heard the “I am grown so I can do what I want”line often used by parents to shun accountability and excuse bad behavior. But adulthood indicates—at least some level of—intellectual maturity because we have learned something from life and willing to help others avoid the same pitfalls.

Furthermore, whether you believe in God or not, “Train a child in the way he should go” means we give them the tools they need to make the right choices to fulfill their purpose. But those of us who believe in God must teach our children and grandchildren by words and by deeds what it means to fear God. We help them to develop a healthy appetite for the Word of God with the hope that they will come to depend on Him knowing that they are valued, loved and cared for. So “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word” (Psalm 119:9).

Hence, verbal conditioning suggests that if children hear something often enough they are likely to believe it, and if they believe it they will live it. Whether we bless or curse our children, our words become a tape recorder that plays over and over in their heads affecting their self-image, behavioral patterns, the ability to give and accept love, and the ability to make good decisions. So when a child hears over and over that he/she is ugly, dumb, stupid, worthless, good-for-nothing, will never amount to anything in life, eventually that child will believe it and live up to those expectations. That is how we conditioned our children for mediocrity, failure or greatness, and it is how we teach them that abuse in all its ugly forms are normal and tolerable. We must never forget that what children see in the eyes of a parent becomes the lens through which they view themselves.


When a father pats his teenage son on the back and tells him he’s the man because he has scored with a girl, then turns around and calls his daughter a tramp or a slut because she makes a decision that may or may or have resulted in pregnancy, how can we wonder why so many men do not respect the women in their lives?

When a mother tells her daughter that men are either drunks, gamblers, womanizers or wife beaters, but as long as he’s paying the bills she should be happy, how can we wonder how our daughters can settle for abusive, debasing relationships that seeks to disarm, isolate and rob them of life itself?


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